If you don't look at the internet for four hours, you miss 10 years; if you don't look for a week, you miss nothing
The internet's a weird thing like that. If you don't look at the internet for four hours, you feel like you missed 10 years. But if you don't look at the internet for a week, you feel like you missed absolutely nothing.
More from this episode
View episodeYou can tell a guy is a terrible negotiator if he is 'thirsty' and keeps calling when people won't call back
First of all, on top of everything else, obviously [Jared Porter] is a scumbag and he got fired... he's also a terrible negotiator. What do they teach you in negotiating school? Do they teach you to just look really thirsty and keep calling people when they won't call you back?
Adults need a one-month seminar on how to be normal human beings to avoid 62-text-message-type behavior
We need like a one month seminar where people can just learn to be normal human beings, because... throw out just the dick pic, which is way out of bounds... but 62 text messages over, like, a couple months with no reply... dude, you need to learn just a tiny bit of shame.
Patrick Mahomes will pass the concussion protocol and play in the AFC Championship
I'm ready to say that I think that he [Mahomes] will pass the concussion protocol test at the end of the week.
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View profileThe goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible
What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.
The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer
People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.
We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay
My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.