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Big CatBig Cat

Jason Witten is a robot and will never be a good broadcaster

Now that [Tony Romo] realized Jason Witten is a robot and never will be good... [Witten] has obviously been told, 'hey, man, you need to start using emotions like humans do'... in the middle of sentences, he would just start smiling because he was like, 'oh, yeah, I'm supposed to tell people that I'm a human being.'

Subjective opinion on broadcasting quality, though Witten's first stint on MNF was widely criticized.

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Win
Oct 1, 2018
#12223
Big CatBig Cat

The Dolphins continue to be candy-ass frauds who always suck

The Patriots probably are good, and the Dolphins continue to be their candy-ass fraud selves. I'm so sick of the Dolphins. I think we need to put an official disclaimer every year. Like, hey, the Dolphins might start hot. Just remember, they always suck.

The Dolphins started 3-0 but finished 7-9 and missed the playoffs in 2018.
Win
Oct 1, 2018
#12224
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Patriots are officially back

The Patriots look pretty good, I guess... The Patriots are kind of back, I think. This is their annual thing where they make us think that they're done with the dynasty.

The Patriots won Super Bowl LIII later this season.
Loss
Oct 1, 2018
#28080
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chicago Bears are the best team in the NFC and will win the Super Bowl

They happen to be playing against the best team in the NFC, future Super Bowl champion Chicago Bears. So you can't really say that Fitzmagic is over. They just were in a buzzsaw situation.

The Bears finished 12-4 but lost to the Eagles in the Wild Card round (the 'Double Doink' game).

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Big CatBig Cat

The Vikings officially have a Kyler Murray problem

I think we can officially say they have a Kyler Murray problem. Justin Jefferson has reached his point where he's like, 'What the fuck is going on?' So that would be my point. Maybe there's a Kyler Murray issue.

Whether Minnesota had a significant Kyler Murray problem is an evaluative football judgment rather than a definitively resolvable fact.
Open
Big CatBig Cat

The Vikings should trade for Kirk Cousins

What if I told you the Vikings could trade for a quarterback that has 18 touchdown passes and a rushing touchdown? Would that be something you think you'd be interested in if you were a Minnesota Viking fan? Kirk Cousins.

Whether Kirk Cousins was traded to Minnesota during the 2026 season is not established by the transcript or reliably known here.
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Big CatBig Cat

Jalen Warren is a top-five running back

Jalen Warren is the top five running back this year. And it's like watching him play, that changes what I think about the Steelers.

Top-five running back status is ultimately a subjective ranking that cannot be definitively resolved.