The Dolphins continue to be candy-ass frauds who always suck

The Patriots probably are good, and the Dolphins continue to be their candy-ass fraud selves. I'm so sick of the Dolphins. I think we need to put an official disclaimer every year. Like, hey, the Dolphins might start hot. Just remember, they always suck.

The Patriots are officially back

The Patriots look pretty good, I guess... The Patriots are kind of back, I think. This is their annual thing where they make us think that they're done with the dynasty.

The Chicago Bears are the best team in the NFC and will win the Super Bowl

They happen to be playing against the best team in the NFC, future Super Bowl champion Chicago Bears. So you can't really say that Fitzmagic is over. They just were in a buzzsaw situation.

Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.