Clemson being served fast food at the White House is awesome.

I just saw the plates full of Big Macs and Wendy's and pizza. I was like, this is fucking awesome. It looked like essentially being back in college and getting super high and being like, let's just order all the fast food. I'm fully in favor of this move.

A cold Filet-O-Fish is one of the most unappetizing things on Earth.

I can't think of too many things less appetizing than like a cold filet of fish. Yeah, excuse me, McFish. Don't put the filet of fish out there. That's a big time mistake.

Sean McVay is a healthy robot who would hate the White House fast food feast.

It's going to be tougher for McVay, for Sean McVay. He doesn't like this shit. He's a robot. He's like, give me the In-N-Out. [L.A. people] are picky.

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.