The Washington Capitals will win the Stanley Cup again next year

The only reason you're going to feel like it was lame is because the Caps are probably going to win again next year, and you're going to be like, we're used to this, right?

The Washington Capitals dynasty has already begun

The dynasty has already begun.

The Imagine Dragons performance placed a curse on the Vegas Golden Knights

I told you there was a curse, man [the Imagine Dragons curse]. They need to exercise those demons, and I think the only way they can do that is by writing a song with us.

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.