Michael Penix Jr. should be the first quarterback taken in the NFL Draft

Michael Penix [Jr.] should be the first quarterback taken in the draft. He was so good tonight, I think this might be the best college football performance from a quarterback I've seen in a very long time. He was like going back to Cam Newton.

Jalen Milroe played poorly against Michigan, looking like his early-season self

I thought [Jalen] Milroe stunk today. I thought Milroe looked a lot like old Milroe and not new Milroe. It was frustrating if you're an Alabama fan, he couldn't even connect on like a five, six yard pass. Everything looked a little bit outta sorts. Michigan was able to lean on him a little bit.

Lefty quarterbacks are harder for defenses to intercept because the ball's spin is different

Isn't it also harder for defenses to intercept a lefty quarterback? ... The spin of the ball. Safety [struggles to] catch it. They don't think about the fact that it's hard for a safety to catch it.

Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.