Prisons are dangerous because inmates aren't allowed to masturbate

That's why our prisons are so dangerous, because there's a bunch of guys that can't crank it. They just got testosterone going out their eyeballs.

I disagree with firing an SEC coach for seeing an escort in Tampa

I disagree with firing an SEC coach for going to see an escort, though, especially if it's in Tampa. That's home of that situation. That's a boys be boys situation.

I used to think my testicles were made of Play-Doh and eating more would make them bigger

My number one, I used to think that your testicles were Play-Doh. So I thought if you just ate more Play-Doh, you'd have bigger balls. I used to eat Play-Doh. For sure. I mean, it's kind of like the Bruce Arians drinking paint there. You got to try all things if you want to have bigger balls.

Ben Johnson ran the illegal play wrong on purpose

I think Ben Johnson ran it wrong on purpose to put something on tape that then he can run a variation off of it.

The Bears are good

I think the Bears are good.

The NFL is testing its way toward Tuesday and Wednesday games

Florio basically was like the NFL is testing out putting teams three times in a row on primetime because we're going to get to a point where they start playing Tuesday and Wednesday games. And I believe it.