PMT DB
The 2017 Takies With Special Guests Rachel Nichols, Mark Titus, Chris Long And More
Ladies (sup) and gentlemen, we present to you the 2017 takie awards, the only award show by guys for dudes that love takes. Warm up for the takies includes OJ talk ( -) and the Mt Rushmore of old takes/dumb things we thought when we were kids ( - ). The Takies include awards for Take of the year, snowflake of the year, journalist press box complaint of the year, podcast listeners of the year, the Nyquist award for biggest fraud of the year, special guest appearances from Rachel Nichols, Mark Titus, Chris Long, Michael Rapaport and much much much much much more
Recap
PFT CommenterPrisons are dangerous because inmates aren't allowed to masturbate
That's why our prisons are so dangerous, because there's a bunch of guys that can't crank it. They just got testosterone going out their eyeballs.
PFT CommenterI disagree with firing an SEC coach for seeing an escort in Tampa
I disagree with firing an SEC coach for going to see an escort, though, especially if it's in Tampa. That's home of that situation. That's a boys be boys situation.
Mount Rushmore
Big CatMark Trestman was a smart hiring choice for the Chicago Bears
I said that the Bears thought outside the box when hiring Mark Trestman, and it will pay big dividends as they have one of the smartest coaches in the NFL now.
PFT CommenterWally Szczerbiak and Keith Van Horn were going to be incredible NBA players
I thought that Nick Kaner-Medley, Wally Szczerbiak, Steve Wojciechowski, and Keith Van Horn would all be incredible NBA players.
HankI could make the pros in five years as a knuckleball pitcher with seclusion and a personal chef
I said if you put me in a cabin in the middle of the woods with a personal chef and a knuckleball specialist, I could be in the pros within five years. I think with some training, seclusion, and just a lot more training, I could make it to the double A's and then, you know, who knows what happens from there.
HankRajon Rondo is just one notch below Paul Pierce in Celtics history
When Rajon Rondo got traded to the Mavericks, I said he was a notch below Pierce, who was like a notch below Bill Russell.
Takies
PFT CommenterBillionaires should pay for their own stadiums
It's unpopular to say it, but I think that billionaires should pay for their own fucking stadiums too, Bill [Simmons].
PFT CommenterThe sun is actually cold and is a big fraud
2017 is the year that we found out that the sun was a big fucking phony. The sun is not hot, and if you want any more proof, space is cold. How come it gets cold at the top of Mount Everest? ... Because there's hot magma underneath the earth as far away from the sun as possible.
Big CatMarlins Man claims he is the founder of All Lives Matter
Marlins Man claimed that he was the founder of All Lives Matter. He claimed he invented the phrase All Lives Matter.
Interview
Rachel NicholsLonzo Ball's Summer League introduction was the sixth most popular post in NBA Instagram history
The NBA made a press release today saying that of all the posts that the league has ever put on Instagram... that Lonzo being introduced at Summer League, when they put that up on IG... That's the sixth most popular thing they've ever put up.