Prisons are dangerous because inmates aren't allowed to masturbate

That's why our prisons are so dangerous, because there's a bunch of guys that can't crank it. They just got testosterone going out their eyeballs.

I disagree with firing an SEC coach for seeing an escort in Tampa

I disagree with firing an SEC coach for going to see an escort, though, especially if it's in Tampa. That's home of that situation. That's a boys be boys situation.

I used to think my testicles were made of Play-Doh and eating more would make them bigger

My number one, I used to think that your testicles were Play-Doh. So I thought if you just ate more Play-Doh, you'd have bigger balls. I used to eat Play-Doh. For sure. I mean, it's kind of like the Bruce Arians drinking paint there. You got to try all things if you want to have bigger balls.

Brock Purdy is the MVP and the 49ers are the NFL's best team

The 49ers are, I think, the best team in football. I think Brock Purdy right now is the league MVP.

Dan Quinn should be fired after the fourth-down disaster

I think Dan Quinn has to go and he's a nice guy.

The Jets would win the NFC East

The Jets would be—I would take the Jets to win the NFC East. Without a doubt.