Prisons are dangerous because inmates aren't allowed to masturbate

That's why our prisons are so dangerous, because there's a bunch of guys that can't crank it. They just got testosterone going out their eyeballs.

I disagree with firing an SEC coach for seeing an escort in Tampa

I disagree with firing an SEC coach for going to see an escort, though, especially if it's in Tampa. That's home of that situation. That's a boys be boys situation.

I used to think my testicles were made of Play-Doh and eating more would make them bigger

My number one, I used to think that your testicles were Play-Doh. So I thought if you just ate more Play-Doh, you'd have bigger balls. I used to eat Play-Doh. For sure. I mean, it's kind of like the Bruce Arians drinking paint there. You got to try all things if you want to have bigger balls.

American sports dominance is officially over

Are we as a country washed? because this also is on the heels of shams announcing SGA back to back MVP and I think it's been like nine years, I believe eight years since an American has won the NBA MVP... and Aaron Rai, it's the second European to win a major this year and Europeans are now two and oh in majors for the first time since 1934.

The Steelers will be stuck with a 7-10 win ceiling with Aaron Rodgers

Aaron Rodgers is back. I feel bad for Steelers fans... he's not the same quarterback... the Steelers just put a finite floor and ceiling on their season. Right? And it's somewhere between seven and 10 wins. That's what we're thinking.

The Chicago White Sox are no longer a joke and could win the AL Central

White Sox are good. They're actually like, this is finally like, it's kind of, they're not a joke. They've got some sluggers. Big time dude... I don't know what the price is for them winning the AL Central, but they, they, they are not a bad team.