Prisons are dangerous because inmates aren't allowed to masturbate

That's why our prisons are so dangerous, because there's a bunch of guys that can't crank it. They just got testosterone going out their eyeballs.

I disagree with firing an SEC coach for seeing an escort in Tampa

I disagree with firing an SEC coach for going to see an escort, though, especially if it's in Tampa. That's home of that situation. That's a boys be boys situation.

I used to think my testicles were made of Play-Doh and eating more would make them bigger

My number one, I used to think that your testicles were Play-Doh. So I thought if you just ate more Play-Doh, you'd have bigger balls. I used to eat Play-Doh. For sure. I mean, it's kind of like the Bruce Arians drinking paint there. You got to try all things if you want to have bigger balls.

Jalen Hurts is being disrespected, but he needs to raise his floor after a low-production 2025 season.

To deny that there's pressure on the guy would be ridiculous. It's also ridiculous to say that he's a bad player. You just wanna see a little bit more production in the middle of the field. You wanna see the timing get a little bit better, and you wanna see the floor raise in that passing offense.

The Houston Texans' defense does not have a single weakness.

That defense is so fun to watch. They really don't have weaknesses defensively. I can't say that about another team in the NFL. And so that's a major strength.

The 49ers will take a step back this season because of coaching changes and ownership drama.

I don't know how the Niners... I really respect the program, but you lose [Robert] Saleh, you're changing the defense up a little bit with Raheem coming into town and you know, you've got injuries up front... The Aiyuk situation was bizarre. I don't know how they don't take a little step back.