The Stanley Cup Finals are over and the Capitals will win in five games

This series is fucking over. Done. Done. Over, finished, no chance. They're not even going to get a single more game. It's going to be 4-1. Caps in 5.

If Alex Ovechkin wins the Stanley Cup, he might be the GOAT

If [Ovechkin] gets the Stanley Cup, which would be his third Stanley Cup in this playoffs, you've got to say, is he the GOAT? He might be. GOAT Vetchkin? It's either him or Gretzky.

The Capitals will suffer the biggest championship hangover ever and miss the playoffs next year if they win the Cup

If Ovechkin wins the Stanley Cup, I am predicting the biggest championship hangover of all time in — we're not even making the playoffs next year. No, I bet he's going to score five goals next year because he's going to spend the entire summer on a yacht in the Caspian Sea just having hookers and blow just delivered to him by Putin.

Ohio State moved senior night because it is scared of Michigan

If you're saying, 'Hey, we can't do it for the Michigan game because it's something that's just totally different and separate unto itself,' do it the last home game before that, which would be Northwestern. But that senior night though should be—you'd basically just be saying, 'I'm scared of doing it against Michigan.'

Michigan is closer to 7-5 than a playoff team

If Bryce Underwood doesn't take a massive step forward, this is closer to a seven-five team than a playoff team.

Wisconsin has to win eight games

He's gotta win eight. I think he would tell you he's gotta win eight. Because if you win seven, that means you probably lost to Penn State, Iowa, USC and UCLA or Minnesota, and it's like some of those are not okay.