I'm ready to care way too much about dumb sports shit and ignore serious topics

I'm so ready to not care about serious shit anymore. And just getting back to caring, like caring way, way too much about dumb shit. That's our right as Americans. It's our duty as Americans to do that.

Bryson DeChambeau is the number one baby back bitch in sports

[Bryson DeChambeau] is now the number one triple B in the sports world... I think he's baby back bitch of the year. The fact that he now has his caddy blocking camera guys too.

History will vindicate the claim that Bryson DeChambeau is roid raging

I think that history is going to vindicate our Bryson [DeChambeau] takes sooner rather than later. This is a classic roid rage type. If I'm on a witch hunt, he's roid raging out there. Guy stinks. Big time.

Derrick Henry is one of the last running backs with a Hall of Fame case

He's gonna be one of the last running backs that's gonna go into the Hall. Hall of Fame for running backs is gonna get very difficult soon.

The Bears' offense may be record-breaking under Ben Johnson

Ben Johnson said, 'We're trying to break the record,' and so far, obviously small sample size, one game, good start.

I am giving Ben Johnson total control

I will hand over all free will and thought and just give it to him and be like, whatever you say, I will just do whatever you decide. I will say, yes, that was the correct decision.