I'm ready to care way too much about dumb sports shit and ignore serious topics

I'm so ready to not care about serious shit anymore. And just getting back to caring, like caring way, way too much about dumb shit. That's our right as Americans. It's our duty as Americans to do that.

Bryson DeChambeau is the number one baby back bitch in sports

[Bryson DeChambeau] is now the number one triple B in the sports world... I think he's baby back bitch of the year. The fact that he now has his caddy blocking camera guys too.

History will vindicate the claim that Bryson DeChambeau is roid raging

I think that history is going to vindicate our Bryson [DeChambeau] takes sooner rather than later. This is a classic roid rage type. If I'm on a witch hunt, he's roid raging out there. Guy stinks. Big time.

UNC is one of the true blue blood jobs in college basketball

This is a job that doesn't come open very often. And it is a true blue blood job... It is the logo of a team that's won a ton of national titles and a ton of Final Fours. It is literally one of the blue bloods.

I've fallen hard and fast for Ben McCollum - he's a rock star coach

I've fallen hard and fast for Ben McCollum. He just wins everywhere. Ben McCollum always talking about toughness. I've fallen hard. I've read a lot of Ben McCollum this last week after beating Florida. This guy fucking rocks.

The Cubs are the second best team in the NL and will reach the NLCS

I think the Cubs are gonna be really fucking good. I think they're the second best team in the NL so I guess my expectations might be a little too high, but I think they're gonna be really, really good. I think they should definitely win the NL Central and be in the NLCS.