If you can't motivate your sperm to swim, you can't lead an NFL team

I'd like to see them do the combine in the nude... make them jerk off into a cup, test their swimmers out. If you're a quarterback, if you can't motivate your sperm to swim, you can't lead a team.

Mitch Trubisky screwed himself by measuring 6'2" because of Hue Jackson's arbitrary height cutoff

Hugh Jackson, his cutoff for quarterbacks, 6'2". So Mitch Trubisky kind of screwed himself. He should have slouched a little bit, hoping that he went at 6'1"... [Hue] just said, if the quarterback's not 6'2 or taller, I don't want him.

Patrick Mahomes' small hands are a reason not to pick him in the draft

I also saw that Mahomes had small hands, so be careful of that. Don't worry about the fact that he played in a Kliff Kingsbury offense, and it was an air raid... His hands, a little undersized. That's why you shouldn't pick them. I actually like him. I think he actually would be good for them.

The Lions will win the NFC North

I think they're gonna be really good. Are the Lions on Crosby watch? ... I think them and maybe the Cowboys might be on Crosby watch. ... I think they probably will win the NFC North.

The Bears could have a top-five offense even if they miss the playoffs

There's a world where the Bears don't make the playoffs, but they're a top-five offense. And our defense is so bad that I can almost—I would be very upset, but I could deal with it.

The Jaguars could win the AFC South

I think the Jaguars are not getting any respect or talked about a lot. I think they're gonna be really good this year. They could win the South. I think Trevor Lawrence is gonna keep going forward.