I'm preemptively sad about Philip Rivers retiring

I'm going to preemptively get sad when Phil Rivers retires. He's becoming more and more Phil Rivers, if that's possible. It's like every stereotype, every caricature of Phil Rivers, like when you close your eyes, you think of Phil Rivers stomping, yelling at refs, giving weird faces, spiking the ball... his eyes bugging out on the sidelines.

The 'TV-ification' of Rex Ryan is ruining what makes him a great media personality

This is the TV-ification of Rex Ryan. I don't like it at all. I don't know if he was trying to impress Beth [Mowens] up there or what the deal was, but he wasn't angry, surly, aggressive Rex. I like my Ryan Brothers stories like tall tales... better than seeing them with a suit on trying to stumble their way through a telecast.

Starting Deshaun Watson now will ruin him because the Texans' offensive line is terrible

It's also the most perfect Houston Texans thing of all time to wait to play your good quarterback [Watson] right when the offensive line is at its absolute worst. Yeah, ruin your franchise quarterback. This is going to be perfect because it's almost like an inside job. The timing is a little bit too convenient. So what's going to happen is Deshaun's going to go out there, get fucking killed, and not look good, and then O'Brien's going to be like, I told you, you can't start a rookie.

Michigan was definitively the better team in the National Championship and it never felt like UConn was in danger of winning.

Michigan was the better team. We all saw it. It never felt like [the game] was in danger. Like the only moment that I was like, oh, UConn might have a chance, was when there was like maybe five and a half minutes left and Mullens missed that three to cut it to four.

Michigan was the best team all year — outside of Duke, who would have won the championship by a lot

They were the best team. They were the best team all year outside of Duke. 'Cause that actually was my other big takeaway — Duke just completely, Duke beat this Michigan team a month and a half ago.

Danny Hurley is 18-1 against the spread in his last four NCAA tournaments, which is insane

Danny Hurley remains 18 and one in the last four tournaments against the spread. How insane is that? Furman is the only one that they didn't cover. That was the first round this year.