I will knock out Tex in the second round

Second round knockout. Woo! Boy. Actually, I'm 100% on board with that... I'm going to knock his ass out. Double sit-em. And my sleeper is the left-handed uppercut. Watch out for that in the second round when I fucking knock Tex's ass out.

The Patriots will beat the Steelers in Week 15

Everyone's talking about the Patriots-Steelers game. And I'm saying, hmm, the Steelers, like, everyone's healthy. Le'Veon Bell's healthy. They could probably beat the Patriots. Don't overthink it. Patriots are probably going to win.

The coaching disparity between Bill Belichick and Mike Tomlin is the most stark in the NFL

I also think there's never been a more marquee matchup in the last decade where teams have met up in big games and the coaching disparity is more stark between Mike Tomlin and Bill Belichick.

The Lions will win the NFC North

I think they're gonna be really good. Are the Lions on Crosby watch? ... I think them and maybe the Cowboys might be on Crosby watch. ... I think they probably will win the NFC North.

The Bears could have a top-five offense even if they miss the playoffs

There's a world where the Bears don't make the playoffs, but they're a top-five offense. And our defense is so bad that I can almost—I would be very upset, but I could deal with it.

The Jaguars could win the AFC South

I think the Jaguars are not getting any respect or talked about a lot. I think they're gonna be really good this year. They could win the South. I think Trevor Lawrence is gonna keep going forward.