Clemson is the only team with a chance to beat Alabama this year

The only team I can see maybe beating Alabama is possibly Clemson. But I only say that... because I'm an idiot, and I know Clemson and Alabama haven't played any common opponents, I don't think.

Alabama will finish 2018 undefeated and blow everyone out

Everyone in their record books when Alabama finishes an undefeated season and shit kicks everyone. And we'll be like, wait, you could get Alabama at minus 14 in a game in 2018? And you'd be like, that was really stupid. Why didn't we put a billion dollars on it?

The loss to the Saints was a statement loss for the Rams that showed championship resolve

I think that was a statement loss for the Rams. Okay. Because they basically had everything go wrong in the first half... And the way they came out in the second half, even though they didn't win the game, that was championship resolve.

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.