Clayton Kershaw is not a dominant playoff pitcher

I am starting to think that Clayton Kershaw is not good in the playoffs. Kershaw, yikes... He's not dominant Clayton Kershaw anymore. Still very, very good, but he's not like Clayton Kershaw of five years ago.

Clayton Kershaw should embrace Satan to fix his playoff struggles

There's only one more thing for [Clayton Kershaw] to do to try to turn this around and that's go completely satanic. Flip the script. Embrace Satan. Become goth Clayton Kershaw. Cornrows... mascara... black lipstick. Just like flip the script on God entirely. See if Satan will give you a hand.

Atlanta is the saddest sports city on Earth

Atlanta is truly the saddest place on Earth with sports... They gave up 10 runs first inning. I've never seen anything like that... 28 to 3 Super Bowl, which is the biggest collapse maybe in sports history... The Braves won 14 straight division titles and they had one World Series to show for it.

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.