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Big CatBig Cat

The Ryan brothers are 'football guys' for life, even when they aren't coached.

You don't lose your football guy-ness. ... If anything, it actually enhances their football guy-ness because they're just going out there drinking, getting in fights, wearing jerseys. ... When a football guy loses football, he has basically a slow mental breakdown.

This is a definitional argument within the PMT universe regarding what constitutes a 'Football Guy'.

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Aug 21, 2017
#28504
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The sun is a total fraud and completely overrated.

Basically, what I've discovered is that the sun is overrated. Fraud. Hot fraud. Cold fraud. The sun is flat. Everybody knows it.

The sun is objectively not flat and is generally considered essential for life, making the 'fraud' label factually incorrect but comedically great.
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Big CatBig Cat

Laughter is a universal language that predates spoken word.

How is how does everyone have laugh and as like the universal, like we're having fun. ... You speak Portuguese, you speak, you know, whatever, Taiwanese or whatever, but you both laugh when you're having fun? ... I think laughter came before language, I believe.

This is a subject of actual scientific debate, but generally accepted that non-verbal vocalizations like laughter are evolutionarily older than complex syntax.
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Aug 21, 2017·Mt. Rushmore
#1156
Big CatBig Cat

I would give away five to ten years of my life to guarantee Wi-Fi on every plane flight.

Nothing worse in the world than being on a plane with no Wi-Fi and no TVs. I would give away five to ten years of my life to make sure that I had Wi-Fi on a plane all the time.

Subjective value judgment on the worth of one's own lifespan vs. internet access.

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Big CatBig Cat

Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

While funny, avian intelligence is usually measured by tool use (crows) or problem-solving, though urban adaptation is a form of intelligence.
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Big CatBig Cat

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

This is a hypothetical claim about a retired player's current ability, which is fundamentally subjective.
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Big CatBig Cat

American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.

Inherently subjective and hyperbolic comparison.