Laughter is a universal language that predates spoken word.

How is how does everyone have laugh and as like the universal, like we're having fun. ... You speak Portuguese, you speak, you know, whatever, Taiwanese or whatever, but you both laugh when you're having fun? ... I think laughter came before language, I believe.

I would give away five to ten years of my life to guarantee Wi-Fi on every plane flight.

Nothing worse in the world than being on a plane with no Wi-Fi and no TVs. I would give away five to ten years of my life to make sure that I had Wi-Fi on a plane all the time.

The 'breaking the seal' phenomenon is real and causes your bladder to refill faster.

What the fuck happens when you break the seal? Why do you then have to piss? When you have all the pee in your balls and then you break the seal and then your balls fill up with pee again really quickly, what's with breaking the seal?

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.