Bill Belichick will sign Nick Foles just to berate him for the Super Bowl loss

I actually have a theory about what's going to happen. I think Belichick's going to grab [Nick] Foles. If for nothing else, just so that he can stash him and berate him every day, being like, you son of a bitch, you beat me in the Super Bowl.

Nick Foles will sign with the Jaguars or Broncos and won't be that good

I feel like Nick Foles is destined to end up on a team like, I don't know, the Jaguars or maybe the Broncos. He feels like a Broncos quarterback up and down. And then he's just not going to be that good. And everyone's like, well, but he won a Super Bowl.

Taysom Hill will be the next Drew Brees

I am convinced now that Sean Payton will have the next Drew Brees in Taysom Hill because he had that one throw... Taysom Hill's throwing 50-yard bombs. It's not fair.

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm going to get excited when we're in a World Cup... and then I'm going to be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just going to be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.