Getting your wife pregnant is the secret to winning golf tournaments

If you want to win a golf tournament, you have to get your wife pregnant. And then sure enough, either right after you give birth or right after you conceive, you will get an interview right after you win something and you'll announce it.

A baseball player must reach 2,000 hits to be considered elite

I think most real seam heads would say like 2000 hits. If you get to 2000 hits, you're probably elite. ... if you get to 2000, that's the big number in baseball. Everyone talks about you gotta get to 2000 hits.

Bryce Harper will return to being a beast this season after disrespect from his GM

Bryce Harper's been nothing but good. And Dave Dombrowski disrespecting him like that. Bryce has every right to be upset about that. ... I think he's gonna be a beast this year. He's gonna return to being a beast.

Paddy the Baddy is the next star of the UFC

Paddy the Baddy was electric. Paddy the Baddy is the next star of the UFC.

I bet LeBron James will announce his next team on Thursday using a golf ball gender reveal format

I think it's going to be like a gender reveal, but with a golf ball. And he's gonna hit the golf ball and it's gonna be the Cavs colors... Burgundy. Do it, do it Thursday. LeBron.

Andy Reid on a horse is a massive Mount Rushmore miss

Andy Reid should have been a pick. The more, just think about it, the more Andy Reid on a horse... that is so fucking funny.