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Void
Oct 22, 2018·Who's Back
#19943
HankHank

Boban Marjanovic is not of this world

My who's back is Boban... His clips of him playing are, I mean, I remember people talking about him last year, but this year it's like surreal. He's not of this world. It's like he's playing on a seven-foot hoop.

Hyperbolic but reflects Boban's historically high PER and physical uniqueness.

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Loss
Oct 22, 2018·Fastest Two Minutes
#19935
Big CatBig Cat

Mitchell Michael Trubisky is the best running quarterback in the NFL

In the windy city we go, where the NFL's best running quarterback, Mitchell Michael Trubisky, had Bears fans hammering the dog at plus two.

While Trubisky was mobile in 2018 (421 rush yards), he was never better than Lamar Jackson or Cam Newton in this regard.
Win
Oct 22, 2018
#19931
Big CatBig Cat

Cody Kessler is a terrible quarterback

Cody Kessler that guy stinks throwing the ball over the place fumbling he recovered his fumble but still interceptions I get it you gotta maybe sit down the boat [Bortles] for a minute it was uh the engine needs a little tune up but good news the next game for the Jaguars is in London and Blake Bortles owns London.

Kessler finished his career with a 2-10 record as a starter and poor efficiency metrics.
Open
Oct 22, 2018
#19930
Big CatBig Cat

If Titanic 2 sinks, it would be the greatest moment ever

If the Titanic 2 could somehow sink, it would be the greatest moment ever... because you're an asshole for riding on the Titanic 2.

The Titanic II project has been perpetually delayed and has not yet sailed or sunk.

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Void
Sep 4, 2026·Mt. Rushmore
#31324
HankHank

The DMV is the worst line to wait in

DMV. Great pick. That's gotta be one one. Gotta be because it goes out of order too. Yeah. That bullshit. It is. Pick number sucks.

Subjective opinion on waiting in line.
Loss
Sep 4, 2026·Mt. Rushmore
#31325
HankHank

I'm going to win all my bets and get in shape this year

I'll go with, I'm going to win all my bets. Yeah. Really dumb thought. And I'm going to get in shape. These are daily thoughts I have.

The take is satirical and about a recurring 'dumb thought,' but literally, these outcomes rarely happen.
Open
Aug 28, 2026·Picks
#31256
HankHank

Jared Goff will be the next NFL player to record 400 or more passing yards in a game

I'm going to go with the next player to record 400 plus pass yards in a game. I'm taking Jared Goff. They're plus 1100. I don't think it matters what their schedule is. No, not for a guy like Jared Goff.

The 2026 season has not yet concluded.