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HankHank

Rob Gronkowski might retire at 69 touchdowns just for the joke

Rob Gronkowski might retire just for the joke... No, but it's like a destiny thing. It really is a destiny thing. I don't think he wants to retire, but it's written in the stars.

Gronkowski did not retire on 69 touchdowns; he finished his career with 92 regular-season touchdowns.

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Void
Dec 2, 2016
#26993
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Tiger Woods intentionally shot over par because a 69 would have triggered his sex addiction

Tiger, as we know, is a sex addict, and we all have triggers when it comes to things. He cannot go out there and shoot a 69. He knew that. He knew that would be a trigger for him. [He would march] right back into a Hooters. It took a lot of mental strength for him to not fall into that trap.

This is a satirical theory that cannot be factually proven, though Tiger did literally shoot one over par (73) instead of a 69.
Push
Dec 2, 2016
#1257
Big CatBig Cat

Tiger Woods will never again look like his old self for four straight days at the highest level

Show me Tiger Woods four days in a row at the highest level. Not going to happen. Not going to happen. Not going to happen.

While Tiger did win the 2019 Masters (a high-level, 4-day performance), for the vast majority of his post-2016 career, injuries prevented him from consistent 4-day dominance.
Loss
Dec 2, 2016
#1258
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Tiger Woods took a Monster Energy sponsorship because he wants to turn into a 'JV' version of himself

I'd like to see Tiger turn into Cabrera, the guy that smokes on the golf course. I'd like to see Tiger just embrace the new weird, washed up, second rate C plus JV Tiger and just start smoking.

Tiger never actually started smoking on the course like Angel Cabrera or John Daly, though he did lean into a different public persona later.

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HankHank

The Bills are the AFC team to beat

Josh Allen's in his prime, they looked unbelievable. They're gonna be probably the team to beat in the AFC.

The Bills' 2026 season and AFC finish have not been resolved yet.
Void
HankHank

Steve Ballmer is eating shit

Who's back of the week is eating shit. Steve Ballmer.

This is a subjective characterization of Ballmer's public response.
Open
HankHank

The Patriots will three-peat by beating the Rams

Super Bowl threepeat: Patriots versus Rams. Patriots win again. ... By week 12, week 13, much to the chagrin of the world and especially this podcast, the Patriots will ... once again be a powerhouse.

The 2026 Super Bowl and Patriots season outcome have not occurred as of the episode date.