Skip to content
PMTPMT DB
Loss
HankHank

Rob Gronkowski might retire at 69 touchdowns just for the joke

Rob Gronkowski might retire just for the joke... No, but it's like a destiny thing. It really is a destiny thing. I don't think he wants to retire, but it's written in the stars.

Gronkowski did not retire on 69 touchdowns; he finished his career with 92 regular-season touchdowns.

More from this episode

View episode
Void
Dec 2, 2016
#26993
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Tiger Woods intentionally shot over par because a 69 would have triggered his sex addiction

Tiger, as we know, is a sex addict, and we all have triggers when it comes to things. He cannot go out there and shoot a 69. He knew that. He knew that would be a trigger for him. [He would march] right back into a Hooters. It took a lot of mental strength for him to not fall into that trap.

This is a satirical theory that cannot be factually proven, though Tiger did literally shoot one over par (73) instead of a 69.
Push
Dec 2, 2016
#1257
Big CatBig Cat

Tiger Woods will never again look like his old self for four straight days at the highest level

Show me Tiger Woods four days in a row at the highest level. Not going to happen. Not going to happen. Not going to happen.

While Tiger did win the 2019 Masters (a high-level, 4-day performance), for the vast majority of his post-2016 career, injuries prevented him from consistent 4-day dominance.
Loss
Dec 2, 2016
#1258
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Tiger Woods took a Monster Energy sponsorship because he wants to turn into a 'JV' version of himself

I'd like to see Tiger turn into Cabrera, the guy that smokes on the golf course. I'd like to see Tiger just embrace the new weird, washed up, second rate C plus JV Tiger and just start smoking.

Tiger never actually started smoking on the course like Angel Cabrera or John Daly, though he did lean into a different public persona later.

More from Hank

View profile
Void
HankHank

Tom Brady helping Mike Macdonald prepare for the Patriots would be a huge slap in the face to the New England region.

That would be egregious if that was true. I don't believe it is true. But if it were, that would be unforgivable. Not unforgivable. That would be a, a blemish, a big blemish. Big time. It'd be a slap in the face of the whole region.

Subjective opinion on how a hypothetical rumor would be perceived.
Void
HankHank

Jayson Tatum is playing cute by claiming he found out about the Jaylen Brown trade on social media.

I'm sure he knew that he was on the trading block and he didn't know specifically when he got traded and he found out just like everyone else... all Brad Stevens, Jaylen Brown, they talked about how, you know, he was gonna be on the trading block and they were gonna try and move him. So I'm sure Jayson Tatum was also aware of that. But in terms of, he's probably playing a little, a little cutesy there where like no one specifically told him, 'Hey, this is the trade.' He found out like everyone else. But I'm sure he was not surprised and fully aware what the plan was.

Subjective interpretation of Tatum's PR framing.
Open
HankHank

The Celtics have another major move coming following the Jaylen Brown trade

There's something going on here. I I said it to Max on the boat yesterday. I was like, Jalen Brown was getting traded. I could, I could just feel it. I could feel it coming... I feel like the Paul George thing is, there's the, like, they might be doing another trade. There's another move coming.

The trade just happened in the fictional 2026 timeline provided; further moves are pending.