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HankHank

Robert Williams is the most impactful player on the court for the Celtics

When Robert Williams [is out there], he's the most impactful player on the court. As many blocks as he has, he probably has so many more that just because his presence is there, [opponents] don't even try and take shots. He brings the energy for the Celtics.

Williams was arguably the most impactful defender in the series, leading both teams in blocks and altering numerous shots despite playing through significant pain.

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Void
Jun 13, 2022
#11207
HankHank

Draymond Green is absolutely useless

My butthole is clenched. It was a very impressive performance from Steph Curry. He did everything for them. Klay Thompson, [Draymond]... I mean Klay played well, [Draymond's] absolutely useless.

While Green struggled offensively in Game 4, he remained a vital defensive anchor and eventually helped the Warriors win the title, making the 'useless' claim hyperbolic.
Push
Jun 13, 2022
#11209
Big CatBig Cat

Draymond Green is the new Ben Simmons

[Draymond Green] is Ben Simmons... Steve Kerr deserves a ton of credit... for having the balls to pull Draymond out of the fourth quarter. Draymond Green does not want to shoot. He is Ben Simmons at this point where it's like, he could have a completely open look going towards the basket and he will pass it up.

While both players are elite defenders and playmakers who struggle to shoot, Draymond has a much higher competitive motor and has won four rings, whereas Simmons' career stalled due to lack of confidence and injuries.
Loss
Jun 13, 2022
#11211
Big CatBig Cat

The Celtics are still the better team than the Warriors

Hank's going to get mad at this comment, but I still think the Celtics are the better team. I mean, if you were looking for a bet after a loss, they've been undefeated this whole playoffs.

The Warriors won the series 4-2, winning three straight games after this take was made, effectively proving they were the better team.

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HankHank

Tom Brady helping Mike Macdonald prepare for the Patriots would be a huge slap in the face to the New England region.

That would be egregious if that was true. I don't believe it is true. But if it were, that would be unforgivable. Not unforgivable. That would be a, a blemish, a big blemish. Big time. It'd be a slap in the face of the whole region.

Subjective opinion on how a hypothetical rumor would be perceived.
Void
HankHank

Jayson Tatum is playing cute by claiming he found out about the Jaylen Brown trade on social media.

I'm sure he knew that he was on the trading block and he didn't know specifically when he got traded and he found out just like everyone else... all Brad Stevens, Jaylen Brown, they talked about how, you know, he was gonna be on the trading block and they were gonna try and move him. So I'm sure Jayson Tatum was also aware of that. But in terms of, he's probably playing a little, a little cutesy there where like no one specifically told him, 'Hey, this is the trade.' He found out like everyone else. But I'm sure he was not surprised and fully aware what the plan was.

Subjective interpretation of Tatum's PR framing.
Open
HankHank

The Celtics have another major move coming following the Jaylen Brown trade

There's something going on here. I I said it to Max on the boat yesterday. I was like, Jalen Brown was getting traded. I could, I could just feel it. I could feel it coming... I feel like the Paul George thing is, there's the, like, they might be doing another trade. There's another move coming.

The trade just happened in the fictional 2026 timeline provided; further moves are pending.