Paul Rabil, Mr Portnoy + Steph Curry's Legacy Game

Draymond Green is absolutely useless

My butthole is clenched. It was a very impressive performance from Steph Curry. He did everything for them. Clay Thompson, Draymond... I mean Clay played well, Draymond's absolutely useless.

Draymond Green is the new Ben Simmons

[Draymond Green] is Ben Simmons... Steve Kerr deserves a ton of credit... for having the balls to pull Draymond out of the fourth quarter. Draymond Green does not want to shoot. He is Ben Simmons at this point where it's like, he could have a completely open look going towards the basket and he will pass it up.

The Celtics are still the better team than the Warriors

Hank's going to get mad at this comment, but I still think the Celtics are the better team. I mean, if you were looking for a bet after a loss, they've been undefeated these playoffs. You'd expect them to win on Monday.

Steph Curry deserves the Finals MVP even if the Warriors lose

Our man Perk [Kendrick Perkins], carry the hell on, he said no matter what, win or lose, Steph Curry deserves this MVP. I'd be willing to trade in Billy not being vegan just for the ensuing takes that would come with Steph Curry winning the MVP and losing.

If Steph Curry wins MVP and loses the Finals, I will go on a carnivore-only diet

If Steph Curry wins, I'm going carnivore diet only... only meat, only.

Dell Curry bringing Steven Johnson's ex-wife to the game was a purely spite-driven move

But then on Friday at the Celtics game, Dell was there with Steven Johnson's ex-wife. And he's dating her. He brought her to the game. So clearly he was... that was just purely out of spite by Dell. Like just straight up, just an absolute spite move.

I want to bet on the Lightning to win the Stanley Cup despite being underdogs

The Lightning... I think I kind of want to bet on the Lightning to win this series. They just don't lose. Everything says that the Avalanche are the best team in the NHL, but then it tells me, guess what, the Avalanche, maybe I'll wait till the Avalanche win the first two games... and then the Lightning say 'all right, now we're going to start playing'.

LIV Golf is the tour for people who are in debt or recently divorced

Somebody pointed out... they said that it was the tour for people who were either heavily in debt or recently divorced. And that's exactly right. Like if you need to make alimony payments, you're going to the fucking LIV. You're going to take the money and run.

The US Open will be incredible because the LIV players will be shunned

I'm telling you, this US Open is going to be incredible. And they're only going to play because they can't play in the PGA Tour events. They're only going to play in the majors... How awesome would that be if it's like Phil and Rory dueling it out in the final round?

Tennessee Baseball are clowns for missing the College World Series

I don't think... it's a fine line between being a bad boy and being a clown. I think if you don't actually make it [to Omaha], then you're a clown. Yeah.

Bill Belichick would win a PLL title within three seasons if he coached

I feel like [Bill Belichick] would win in the first three seasons of coaching [in the PLL], if not sooner. I mean, I don't think he really coaches football. He just coaches human beings... I think he understands the nuance of sports and blueprint of winning better than anyone... you listen to Bill Belichick coach you on lacrosse and you're bought in.

The PLL will be a top six sport in North America within five years

The PLL will be a top six sport in North America. There's just so many... it's competitive now. I used to say like, we're always talking to the big four, but it'll be the top six... Someone's got to go. We're probably seven or eight [currently].

Late-night TV news commercials for products like CarShield are frauds

When I see them up there, those products are fraud... I mean, they wouldn't be advertising there if they weren't a fraud. I have an occasional check with the FTC site and the Better Business Bureau to see various of these companies have all sorts of consumer complaints against them. And what a shock!