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HankHank

Snake owners are absolute weirdos and potential serial killers

It's serial killer vibes to be a pro snake... Snakes literally have had the worst rap. Deservedly so in the history of animals... Just get a dog.

This is a subjective hot take on pet ownership and animal preference.

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Win
Mar 3, 2023
#5002
Big CatBig Cat

The 76ers have zero percent chance of winning the NBA title

The Sixers have no chance. So I will not be putting anything on the Sixers... I'm only betting things I actually think could win. I'm not gonna bet the Sixers have 0% chance.

The 76ers lost in the second round to the Boston Celtics, confirming Big Cat's take that they weren't true title contenders.
Void
Mar 3, 2023
#5003
Big CatBig Cat

Standing up at bars is the most overrated thing people can do

Standing at a bar for about an hour and a half. That's usually my capacity. And the whole time I was like, this would be sweet if I could sit down... Standing is the most overrated thing people can do.

This is a subjective opinion on comfort and bar culture.
Win
Mar 3, 2023
#5004
Big CatBig Cat

Bryce Young will be a top five draft pick regardless of his size

I think he eventually will just not matter [his size]. Yeah. It might matter when he's playing, but in terms of getting drafted, I don't think it will be that much of a bearing. I think he's going to go in the top five no matter what.

Bryce Young was drafted #1 overall by the Carolina Panthers.

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HankHank

Tom Brady helping Mike Macdonald prepare for the Patriots would be a huge slap in the face to the New England region.

That would be egregious if that was true. I don't believe it is true. But if it were, that would be unforgivable. Not unforgivable. That would be a, a blemish, a big blemish. Big time. It'd be a slap in the face of the whole region.

Subjective opinion on how a hypothetical rumor would be perceived.
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HankHank

Jayson Tatum is playing cute by claiming he found out about the Jaylen Brown trade on social media.

I'm sure he knew that he was on the trading block and he didn't know specifically when he got traded and he found out just like everyone else... all Brad Stevens, Jaylen Brown, they talked about how, you know, he was gonna be on the trading block and they were gonna try and move him. So I'm sure Jayson Tatum was also aware of that. But in terms of, he's probably playing a little, a little cutesy there where like no one specifically told him, 'Hey, this is the trade.' He found out like everyone else. But I'm sure he was not surprised and fully aware what the plan was.

Subjective interpretation of Tatum's PR framing.
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HankHank

The Celtics have another major move coming following the Jaylen Brown trade

There's something going on here. I I said it to Max on the boat yesterday. I was like, Jalen Brown was getting traded. I could, I could just feel it. I could feel it coming... I feel like the Paul George thing is, there's the, like, they might be doing another trade. There's another move coming.

The trade just happened in the fictional 2026 timeline provided; further moves are pending.