Canceling an NFL game causes an immediate increase in local crime

When you cancel a game, there's a crime wave that hits the town. There's an increase in evil that we call crime. So unless you want Canton, Ohio to be run over by thugs tonight, you better have that damn kickoff.

Ryan Tannehill is effectively retired because wide receivers cannot return from knee injuries

I'm going to say [Ryan Tannehill] is injured right now because a knee injury is impossible to come back from for a wide receiver.

The sun is scientifically cold because space is cold

Where do you land, by the way, on our theory that the sun is, in fact, cold? I'm a fan of the space that just seems to shut everybody down. Space is cold and everyone just... When you said you were willing to hear it out, I was just going to say space is cold. That's it.

The Knicks will sweep the Cavaliers in the Eastern Conference Finals

Will you personally be disappointed in Knicks if they don't sweep them? No, I, I know how it goes... but it's, it's Knicks in four.

Aaron Rai is a boring PGA Championship winner

Aaron Rai, nice guy, great story. Okay. Boring as hell, boring winner... Nothing happened Sunday... Great crowd, great venue, great fans, great leaderboard going into Sunday. Disappointing finish.

The Jets in Week 16 are a layup win for the Patriots

We get the, the Jets, which is a nice, like layup week 16 leading into the Broncos and the Dolphins. So we got like kinda two easy wins and then a tough challenge week 17.