"The Boston Celtics are a complete dumpster fire" — Hank

Take Slip·Mar 1, 2019

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The Boston Celtics are a complete dumpster fire

Celtics are a complete dumpster fire. I don't really have any championship spin zones. I don't really have any optimistic to say about them. I'm kind of just hoping that it's like one of those things where they're just going through the motions in the regular season.

Opinion Basketball Medium

The 2018-19 Celtics are widely considered a failure; they were eliminated in the second round and Kyrie Irving left shortly after.

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Loss

Take Slip·Mar 1, 2019

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Big Cat

Bryce Harper probably demanded his $330M contract be paid entirely via Cash Card

I bet you that Bryce Harper has a cash card. I bet you he demanded his entire contract to be paid in the cash card. Do you know why? Because $330 million is cool. But you know what's really cool is having the cash card from the Cash App.

Hot Take Baseball ScorchingSarcastic

Bryce Harper was not paid via a Cash App debit card; he was paid in US dollars through standard payroll and bonuses.

Win

Take Slip·Mar 1, 2019

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Big Cat

Kyler Murray is officially draftable on my board because he measured at 5'10"

So 5'10", I like him now. He is draftable. He moved up my big board. He is still undraftable for John Elway, like eight inches too short. John Elway even said that. He was like, yeah, he's... You can't get him under center.

Opinion Football Medium

Kyler Murray was drafted #1 overall, proving he was indeed draftable, though Big Cat was speaking about his own arbitrary line.

Loss

Take Slip·Mar 1, 2019

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Big Cat

Jason Witten's return to the NFL is a genius move to save his broadcasting legacy

What Jason Witten has just pulled off... with the one year of broadcasting that he did. And he was bad. He was very bad. He is now going back to the NFL, and now he can forever be the guy where, well, he never got his second year, so we don't know. The jury's still out on whether or not Jason Witten is bad, and history will be kind to him and not mock him.

Opinion Media Medium

Witten is widely remembered as a poor broadcaster on MNF despite his return to the field, so history was not as kind as Big Cat predicted.