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HankHank

The Patriots will return to the Super Bowl before the Commanders

We'll be in a Super Bowl before the Commanders. No, we [will].

Neither team has reached a Super Bowl since this take was made (2025).

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Loss
Aug 20, 2025
#7391
Big CatBig Cat

Daniel Jones starting for the Colts is a decision made under duress by Shane Steichen

I believe this is a decision made under duress by Shane Steichen. He [is] very much on the Hot Seat. And he basically is in the worst place you wanna be as an organization where it's like, I'm gonna get fired. I gotta find a way to eke out like six or seven wins. Daniel Jones gives you a higher floor.

Anthony Richardson eventually started the season, rendering the take about Jones winning the job under duress incorrect as Jones remained a backup.
Loss
Aug 20, 2025
#7392
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Daniel Jones will be serviceable for the Colts and can win eight games

Daniel Jones, when I say he is gonna be good, I, I would be shocked if he was like a, a pro bowl level quarterback, but I think he could be serviceable... I don't think he's going to be one of the better quarterbacks in the AFC, but I do think he could be good enough to win like eight games.

Daniel Jones does not play for the Colts; this is a satirical scenario within the episode's context.
Push
Aug 20, 2025
#25241
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The AFC North is officially the 'division of quarterbacks' now that Joe Flacco is back

AFC North quarterbacks: Flacco, [Aaron] Rodgers, Lamar [Jackson], [Joe] Burrow. It's the division of quarterbacks. Listen, two guys have, the two old guys have Super Bowls. The young guys haven't done it.

The AFC North is indeed stacked with high-profile QBs, though Rodgers is in the AFC East. This is a common mix-up in the moment.

More from Hank

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Void
HankHank

The DMV is the worst line to wait in

DMV. Great pick. That's gotta be one one. Gotta be because it goes out of order too. Yeah. That bullshit. It is. Pick number sucks.

Subjective opinion on waiting in line.
Loss
HankHank

I'm going to win all my bets and get in shape this year

I'll go with, I'm going to win all my bets. Yeah. Really dumb thought. And I'm going to get in shape. These are daily thoughts I have.

The take is satirical and about a recurring 'dumb thought,' but literally, these outcomes rarely happen.
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HankHank

Jared Goff will be the next NFL player to record 400 or more passing yards in a game

I'm going to go with the next player to record 400 plus pass yards in a game. I'm taking Jared Goff. They're plus 1100. I don't think it matters what their schedule is. No, not for a guy like Jared Goff.

The 2026 season has not yet concluded.