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Loss
HankHank

Tom Brady is likely in a secret cult that provides him with extraterrestrial medicine

When you have that much money and all you want to do is win, why wouldn't you spend it on extraterrestrial medicines? On anti-concussion mental exercises? Have you guys seen Batman, League of Shadows? He's probably in some type of cult or something... Alex Guerrero is just the front... but really, in the offseason, he's in some type of cult.

Unless evidence of an actual extraterrestrial cult emerges, this is safely categorized as a humorous and unfounded conspiracy theory.

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Loss
Nov 1, 2017
#18951
Big CatBig Cat

Clayton Kershaw will close Game 7 of the World Series and finally get the monkey off his back

Clayton Kershaw, out of the bullpen to close Game 7 for the Los Angeles Dodgers... he does the old Steve Young, gets that monkey off his back. And the Dodgers, the great sports town of L.A., has a championship.

The Astros won Game 7. While Kershaw pitched 4 scoreless innings of relief, he did not close the game or win the championship.
Void
Nov 1, 2017
#18952
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Major League Baseball is better when the Dodgers are disappointed

The Major League Baseball is better when the Dodgers are good. That's what people always say. I don't really believe that. I like Los Angelinos to be very disappointed in all their sports because they have everything else.

This is a subjective preference about the state of the league.
Win
Nov 1, 2017
#18953
Big CatBig Cat

Kelvin Benjamin will lose his conditioning in Buffalo because of the winter and chicken wings

Kelvin Benjamin, who, by the way, did the Bills realize he's already kind of a hefty guy with weight problems and that he's going to be in Buffalo? Yeah, and wings. And a lot of beer... I feel like Kelvin Benjamin is going to get off the plane in Buffalo and be like, oh, I don't have to be in shape in this city.

Kelvin Benjamin's tenure in Buffalo was a disaster; he struggled with conditioning and production and was released after about a year.

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Void
HankHank

The Colts are even less watchable than the Chargers

They are the deadest, most non-competitive football team, other than the Chargers, that I've ever seen. I think they might be worse.

This is a subjective comparison of two teams' quality and watchability.
Open
HankHank

The Patriots feel like a one- or two-seed

I feel like the Bills are gonna lose another game. Not against the Patriots. Lose their next game against the Patriots and then we're gonna be in the same spot. So where do you feel though overall? Like are you the two seed? One seed possibly one seed. Two. Two or one seed. Yeah. That's how it feels.

The Patriots' final playoff seed can be resolved after the 2026 regular season, but the outcome is not reliably known here.
Void
HankHank

The Jets can't build a winning culture

You just can't. It's hard to build a winning culture ever. It doesn't matter what you're doing if you're the Jets.

This is a deliberately broad franchise judgment rather than a claim that can be definitively proven or disproven.