Kirk Cousins' Pro Bowl victory proves he can win big games

Kirk Cousins leads NFC to a comeback. So there you go. All the haters that say Kirk Cousins can't win a big game. He just won the Pro Bowl Flag Football challenge.

Kyrie Irving to the Mavericks is a good move because there's only half a season for his 'team cancer' to spread

I think it's a good move for the Mavericks because he only has half a season for his team cancer to spread. So this is like a good window for Kyrie... it's hard to destroy a brand new team in like four months.

The Kyrie Irving trade raises the Mavericks' ceiling but makes their floor 'lava'

This trade to the Mavericks raises their ceiling but makes the floor lava. And that's perfect... In a world where this all works out, you now added like... a walking bucket.

The Eagles should have trusted their defense and kicked it out of the end zone

You just kick it out of bounds. You kick it into the end zone. All you have to do at that point is defend the sideline. Anything in play is game over. And the defense has been so fucking good all game. Why are you overthinking it? Just fucking do it. Put the ball in the fucking end zone and trust your fucking defense.

The Eagles will get boat-raced in London

No one's playing next week. We're gonna get absolutely boat-raced in London.

The Rams stink

The Rams are problem. They stink.