DJ Burns is the man and NC State is America's team for beating Duke

DJ Burns is the fucking man. Yes. I love him. Thank everyone in America should thank DJ Burns for beating Duke. Oh. For just being awesome.

The only way to defend DJ Burns is to pull the chair out from under him

The, if you're not a giant, the only way that you can defend him is something that Duke tried to do one time tonight that never went back to it. Where you just back away from him. As he's putting that, he pull the chair, you pull the chair out and then he gets outta control. That's the only way that you can stop him because you can't push back against him.

Zach Edey is legitimately good at basketball despite his game being unenjoyable to watch

Purdue fans should just be like, that's okay because we win. You know what I mean? Like, it's at a point where it's like to quote our good friend Jay Bilis, agree to disagree. Zach Edey is really good at basketball. Most of America doesn't enjoy this experience. It's okay. Thinking otherwise is stupid.

The Eagles Aren't an NFL Team Right Now

It's not an NFL football team right now. There's just not very many good football players on that football team right now.

The Eagles should have trusted their defense and kicked it out of the end zone

You just kick it out of bounds. You kick it into the end zone. All you have to do at that point is defend the sideline. Anything in play is game over. And the defense has been so fucking good all game. Why are you overthinking it? Just fucking do it. Put the ball in the fucking end zone and trust your fucking defense.

The Eagles will get boat-raced in London

No one's playing next week. We're gonna get absolutely boat-raced in London.