The Dolphins continue to be candy-ass frauds who always suck

The Patriots probably are good, and the Dolphins continue to be their candy-ass fraud selves. I'm so sick of the Dolphins. I think we need to put an official disclaimer every year. Like, hey, the Dolphins might start hot. Just remember, they always suck.

The Patriots are officially back

The Patriots look pretty good, I guess... The Patriots are kind of back, I think. This is their annual thing where they make us think that they're done with the dynasty.

The Chicago Bears are the best team in the NFC and will win the Super Bowl

They happen to be playing against the best team in the NFC, future Super Bowl champion Chicago Bears. So you can't really say that Fitzmagic is over. They just were in a buzzsaw situation.

The Rays are playing an exciting brand of baseball

It's a very, very exciting brand of baseball. And I'm gonna miss it when it's over. So I did not wanna sweep, so thank you.

The Cowboys are a bad football team

The Cowboys are a bad football team. And I can't wait for people to start to say like, this is when, look at the schedule. Dallas is gonna put some wins together.

Performance-enhancing drug shortages may explain dominant teams falling off

There started to be severe, severe supply chain issues when it came to performance enhancing drugs and peptide shipments coming to the United States. I just think it's interesting.