The Warriors are dead and crumbling

The Warriors are dead. They're dead, and they have totally crumbled. They're falling apart at the seams. Steph Curry's throwing mouth guards at fans. Egregious act, by the way.

Steph Curry throwing his mouthguard at a fan is assault and battery

It's assault, right? Like, let's be honest. It's assault. Steph Curry, I mean, he's an NBA player... he's a professional athlete, probably has some sort of communicable STD, getting hit with that mouth guard. That is grounds for lawsuit. That's assault. I believe it's also battery.

Under Armour is the Buffalo Bills of shoes and cannot win the big one

Under Armour can't win the big one. They can't. They're the Buffalo Bills of Shoes. You know what I'd like to see more of on Twitter? I'd like to see more people tweeting the dumpster fire image at, like, live look at Under Armour right now. It's a dumpster fire.

The Chiefs' window never closed

I don't think we ever actually closed the Chiefs' window. I think Mahomes was just in bed because he was injured, far away from the window.

Mahomes will be back to himself by season's end

By the end of this season, Mahomes is gonna be back to being Mahomes.

The Oregon loss could turn Dan Lanning into a psychopath

I don't think that Dan Lanning has slept since that loss. I think Dan Lanning has turned into an absolute psycho because of this loss. He's sick. It actually might be a dangerous thing for the rest of the Big Ten that Oregon lost that game.