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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Steph Curry throwing his mouthguard at a fan is assault and battery

It's assault, right? Like, let's be honest. It's assault. Steph Curry, I mean, he's an NBA player... he's a professional athlete, probably has some sort of communicable STD, getting hit with that mouth guard. That is grounds for lawsuit. That's assault. I believe it's also battery.

No legal charges were ever filed, and it was widely considered a typical technical foul/ejection, not a criminal act.

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Win
Jun 17, 2016
#1315
Big CatBig Cat

The Warriors are dead and crumbling

The Warriors are dead. They're dead, and they have totally crumbled. They're falling apart at the seams. Steph Curry's throwing mouth guards at fans. Egregious act, by the way.

The Warriors lost Game 7 after leading the series 3-1, completing one of the most famous collapses in sports history.
Loss
Jun 17, 2016
#27146
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Ayesha Curry's tweet about the NBA being rigged was a viral PR stunt for Under Armour shoes

She could always say, guess what? This was a viral spot for my husband's Under Armour shoes. I got 70,000 retweets, got everybody talking about me... You guys just got Kimmeled, America.

While funny, there is no evidence that the tweet was a planned marketing stunt for Under Armour.
Void
Jun 17, 2016
#1317
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Under Armour is the Buffalo Bills of shoes and cannot win the big one

Under Armour can't win the big one. They can't. They're the Buffalo Bills of Shoes. You know what I'd like to see more of on Twitter? I'd like to see more people tweeting the dumpster fire image at, like, live look at Under Armour right now. It's a dumpster fire.

At the time, Curry lost the Finals, Newton lost the Super Bowl, and Spieth lost the Masters. It was a subjective branding critique.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.