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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Bartolo Colon is back on steroids because he hit a long home run

My witch hunt is it's pretty obvious. Bartolo Colon is back on steroids after he jacked that dinger like that went to like the 12th row. That was no small dinger. That was like a legit shot.

Colon was not suspended or caught for steroids in 2016; the take is a satirical reaction to his unlikely home run.

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Void
May 9, 2016
#27506
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Bob Costas is passionate about every sport he covers except for Sunday Night Football, where he sucks

Everything that [Bob Costas] attends, that's the kind of passion that Bob puts, except for Sunday night football. He sucks at that. He's like, 'hey, America, knock it off with the guns.' And then everyone's like, 'oh, shit, we should probably get rid of our guns.'

Subjective opinion on broadcasting quality and personality.
Push
May 9, 2016
#10760
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The 2016 Cubs are the best team in MLB history and will sweep the World Series

I think this might be the best baseball team in the history of Major League Baseball, and I think that there's no chance that anything bad could happen to them this year. Like, they're going to cruise. I think it's going to be four-game sweep in the World Series.

The Cubs did win the 2016 World Series, making the 'best team' claim arguable, but they did not sweep (won in 7 games).
Void
May 9, 2016
#10761
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Bryce Harper is a coward for taking intentional walks instead of swinging at pitch-outs

I actually think that Bryce Harper is a coward for not swinging at any of those pitches. Say what you want about Vlad Guerrero, but the guy would take a cut at a pitch out. My question is, if Harper doesn't like it so much, why does he put a stop to it and just take a running start and just groove one of the meatballs that's thrown outside?

This is an inherently subjective satirical take on player behavior.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

JMU may not win again until the dog-poop bettor returns

JMU probably won't win another football game until that guy logs back on.

The prediction resolves when JMU's 2026 football season ends or the team wins another game, whichever comes first.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Wizards are a one-through-eight seed team

I feel confident in my one through eight seed. Love that for the Wiz.

The Wizards' 2026-27 regular-season finish will determine whether this playoff-seeding prediction was accurate.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Falcons can expose the 49ers defense

They might not actually be as good as we think they are on defense. I don't hate the Falcons at all in this game.

The 49ers' 2026 defensive quality and this Week 7 result can be evaluated against the skepticism expressed here.