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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Ben Roethlisberger's new diet is actually just the TB12 method but more strict

The report was that [Ben Roethlisberger] is doing the TB12 method. Except the Ben Roethlisberger method is more strict than the TB12 method. It's basically like no meat before breakfast. He's probably going to see how long he can fast.

The rumors about Big Ben's 'stricter than Brady' diet were widely reported by Ryan Burr at the time, though the efficacy of Ben's actual habits remained a running joke.

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Void
Jul 14, 2021
#11882
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Home Run Derby has become way too complicated with clocks and Statcast data

The only reason I care about [the Home Run Derby rules] is because they took what was quite literally the simplest competition in sports, which is hit ball over fence... and then they put a clock in it. They added extra time based on a Statcast. They started measuring exit velocity. Timeouts should never be incorporated into the Home Run Derby. It's a very simple process.

The Home Run Derby format remains timed as of 2024, though tweaks are made annually. This is a subjective preference on entertainment value.
Push
Jul 14, 2021
#11887
Big CatBig Cat

Big Ben's year 18 diet is just a relatable attempt to outrun aging

I likened it to, after a long weekend of drinking and eating terrible food. And you say to yourself, you know what, I'm going to eat a salad on Monday. Everything will I'll maybe do 20 pushups. Wow. I'm back. That's what Big Ben is doing as a career where he spent 17 years eating PF Chang and doing whatever he wants. And then year 18. He's like, why is Tom Brady playing still? Oh, because he eats healthy. You know what, honey, get me a vegetable.

Roethlisberger did retire after the 2021 season, showing the diet didn't prolong his career like Brady's.
Win
Jul 14, 2021
#11889
Big CatBig Cat

Coach K would never have lost two games in a row with Team USA

Coach K would never lose two games. He would absolutely never. You guys roast him day in and day out. He stops being the USA coach. They lose to Nigeria and Australia. Back-to-back coincidence or—

Coach K only lost one game (in 2004) during his entire head coaching tenure with Team USA. He never lost two in a row.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.