Jeff Green is a bad basketball player despite his good performances against the Raptors

Jeff Green stinks. I thought he was dead. Jeff Green's been on a million NBA teams and he stinks everywhere he goes, and somehow he is lighting up the Raptors.

LeBron James literally owns the entire 'state' of Canada and the city of Toronto

LeBron owns them. He literally owns the entire state of Canada and the city of Toronto.

The Indiana Pacers were the toughest competition for the Cavaliers in the Eastern Conference

What if the Indiana Pacers were the toughest competition for the Cleveland Cavaliers in the East? I'm just saying. You can now say that.

Getting excited for the NFL schedule release is for pussies

I can't get it up for the schedule release because it's—if you explained what the schedule release was to Vince Lombardi, he'd call you a pussy and spit in your face.

The NFL should release one game schedule per day for the entire off-season

The NFL, they should do, they should draw it out even longer. It should be one game that Roger Goodell releases per day for the entire off-season. And then at the end of it, he's like, okay, let's play some ball.

The Preakness Stakes should move its date to three weeks before the Kentucky Derby

Why doesn't the Preakness just say, screw it to the Kentucky Derby and schedule their main race for like three weeks before the Kentucky Derby? You wanna play hardball? Yeah, you could play hardball. I feel like if you, if your horse wins the Preakness, if it was scheduled for before the Derby, you're not skipping the derby. No, you gotta run in the derby.