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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Brooklyn bourbon is a superior product and better than Kentucky bourbon

Brooklyn bourbon... it's actually been rated as being better than Kentucky bourbon, and it's a superior product. And people from Kentucky are too dumb to realize it.

This is a subjective and inflammatory take meant for comedic effect and pot-stirring.

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May 4, 2018
#28928
Big CatBig Cat

Jeff Green is a bad basketball player despite his good performances against the Raptors

Jeff Green stinks. I thought he was dead. Jeff Green's been on a million NBA teams and he stinks everywhere he goes, and somehow he is lighting up the Raptors.

While subjective, Jeff Green has carved out a very long and successful career as a high-level role player, winning a championship later in his career.
Void
May 4, 2018
#6544
Big CatBig Cat

LeBron James literally owns the entire 'state' of Canada and the city of Toronto

LeBron owns them. He literally owns the entire state of Canada and the city of Toronto.

A metaphorical claim about basketball dominance.
Push
May 4, 2018
#6545
Big CatBig Cat

The Indiana Pacers were the toughest competition for the Cavaliers in the Eastern Conference

What if the Indiana Pacers were the toughest competition for the Cleveland Cavaliers in the East? I'm just saying. You can now say that.

The Pacers were the only team to take LeBron's 2018 Cavs to seven games in the East, though the Celtics also took them to seven in the ECF.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.