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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Eating raw cookie dough is worth the risk of salmonella poisoning

Eating raw cookie dough is worth the risk of salmonella poisoning... Dude, who gets salmonella from fucking eggs anyway? That's such bullshit.

Subjective risk assessment.

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Void
Aug 12, 2019·Null
#25192
HankHank

The Stone Cold Steve Austin interview is on the Mount Rushmore of PMT interviews

Mount Rushmore. And I'm not even a huge wrestling fan. That was before my time, and I was still loving it.

This is a subjective internal ranking of show quality.
Void
Aug 12, 2019·Null
#11697
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I think Antonio Brown is actually going crazy and having a mental break

I actually think Antonio Brown is – I think there's something wrong with him. I think that he's, like, going crazy. He's had, like – an actual mental break that doesn't mean that like we can't joke around about the whole helmet saga because that is fucking hilarious but I actually think that there's something wrong with the guy.

While AB's mental health was a subject of much debate, it is a subjective assessment without a formal diagnosis.
Win
Aug 12, 2019
#11715
Stone Cold Steve AustinStone Cold Steve Austin

The secret to the Stone Cold Stunner is doing it in a ring because the concrete has no give

The secret to the stunner is do it in a ring because you got a little bit of give. I hit my damn tailbone [on concrete] and every vertebrae in my back said, fuck you, don't ever do that again. So yeah, it works best inside a ring with a little bit of give.

The mechanics of wrestling rings are designed for impact absorption, unlike concrete floors.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.