Stone Cold Steve Austin + Mount Rushmore Of Sports Movie Characters

I think Antonio Brown has had an actual mental break

I actually think Antonio Brown is – I think there's something wrong with him. I think that he's, like, going crazy. He's had, like – an actual mental break that doesn't mean that like we can't joke around about the whole helmet saga because that is fucking hilarious but I actually think that there's something wrong with the guy.

The Raiders lost their mystique by refusing to let Antonio Brown wear his old helmet and just paying the fine

In a backwards way, all Raiders mystique has been lost because... if the Raiders were to just give Antonio Brown his old helmet and just pretend that it's not happening, they would possibly get an infraction, a penalty, a fine, whatever it may be. But they won't do that. And guess what? Man card Raiders, the old Raiders, they would just let him wear like a fucked up helmet and be like, guess what? We just want our guy out.

The fact that pace of play is only an issue in baseball and golf proves they are the most boring sports

The fact that pace of play is only baseball and golf, like the two most boring sports to watch, tells you a lot about what – like that right there, you should be like, you know what? Let's go speed golf. Because if we're talking about pace of play, it probably means people are taking naps during our games.

You shouldn't be allowed to take three and a half minutes for a putt and then miss it

I'm pretty sure that you're not allowed to take three and a half minutes to line up a putt from eight feet and then miss the putt. If you make the putt, I think people overlook it. But if you miss that putt, then we're going to have an issue.

The secret to the Stone Cold Stunner is doing it in a ring because the concrete has no give

The secret to the stunner is do it in a ring because you got a little bit of give. I hit my damn tailbone [on concrete] and every vertebrae in my back said, fuck you, don't ever do that again. So yeah, it works best inside a ring with a little bit of give.

Spontaneity and the feeling that anything can happen at any time is lost in today's wrestling product

When you used to watch, you know, back in the Attitude Era... it was a sense of urgency. You felt like anything could happen at any one time. And to me, it's just maybe, I'm not picking on today's product, but I'm just saying the spontaneity is lost. Like that feeling that anything could happen is lost.

If I could go back to WrestleMania 17, I would have hit Vince McMahon with a stunner and maintained my babyface run

If I could call the Audible now, I would have just told him, hey, man, I ain't feeling it... if I could go back, I just said, hey, man, I'm calling an audible, watch the stunner. And then stunned [Vince's] ass and would have maintained my baby face run.

Auburn should have just called the new logo a logo change to sell more merchandise to SEC fans

What they should do is just lean into it and then get all new sales from the new logo. Because if I know something about SEC football, if you slightly tweak the logo, everyone will buy new stuff. They'll buy new stuff before they pay their mortgage, before they get food on the table for their kids. They've got to have the freshest new Auburn logo for the fall.

I will get an NFL 100 logo tattoo if the Browns and Lions meet in the Super Bowl

If it's Browns-Lions in the Super Bowl, I'll get the tattoo for sure. Yes.

I will get an NFL 100 logo tattoo if Blake Bortles wins Super Bowl MVP

If Blake Bortles wins Super Bowl MVP, I will also do that [get the tattoo].

Christian Pulisic stunk in his Chelsea debut and might not be ready for the bright lights

I watched the whole game. He stunk. Is he not ready for the bright lights?... I'm just going to say, as someone who was ready to declare this the biggest moment in USA soccer history, yeesh, maybe we have to start getting the narrative that he's not from America.

Regional Little League World Series games are more exciting than the actual World Series in Williamsport

I don't know if this is a hot take or not, but the regional part of it before the actual Little League World Series is almost more exciting because... the America versus America, like Kentucky, Iowa versus Minnesota, those games are electric.

Eating raw cookie dough is worth the risk of salmonella poisoning

Eating raw cookie dough is worth the risk of salmonella poisoning... Dude, who gets salmonella from fucking eggs anyway? That's such bullshit.

The Derek Carr media hype machine is funny because we know he isn't a superstar

The Derek Carr media hype machine that's trying to get behind a guy who we really know who he is, and that's not a terrible quarterback, but he's not a superstar quarterback, is very, very funny to me. Because they're basically trying to wheel themselves into Derek Carr as our starter.

Tim Tebow should retire from all sports

Tim Tebow is out for the year and he should probably just retire from all sports... It's over. PFT, it's over. I've firmly been in the Tim Tebow is not a baseball player. This is all a gimmick in a carnival act. And he should probably just stick to doing TV.