PMT DB
PMT DB
Stone Cold Steve Austin on WWE Spontaneity, Vince McMahon, and Mount Rushmore
Big Cat starts the show by admitting he completely fanboyed out for the guest of a lifetime. Hank, who isn't even a massive wrestling historian, was ready to crown the interview immediately.
HankThe Stone Cold Steve Austin interview is on the Mount Rushmore of PMT interviews
Mount Rushmore. And I'm not even a huge wrestling fan. That was before my time, and I was still loving it.
The Raiders are back in the headlines for all the wrong reasons. Antonio Brown is currently in a standoff with the NFL because he refuses to wear a new, safer helmet. While it’s objectively one of the funniest things to happen in training camp, PFT thinks there might be a legitimate cause for concern regarding AB’s mental state.
PFT CommenterI think Antonio Brown is actually going crazy and having a mental break
I actually think Antonio Brown is – I think there's something wrong with him. I think that he's, like, going crazy. He's had, like – an actual mental break that doesn't mean that like we can't joke around about the whole helmet saga because that is fucking hilarious but I actually think that there's something wrong with the guy.
Big Cat thinks the Raiders have officially lost their edge by letting this become a public saga. Instead of being the renegade organization that just lets their superstar do whatever he wants and pays the league fine, they’re letting the NFL dictate terms.
Big CatThe Raiders lost their mystique by refusing to let Antonio Brown wear his old helmet and just paying the fine
In a backwards way, all Raiders mystique has been lost because... if the Raiders were to just give Antonio Brown his old helmet and just pretend that it's not happening, they would possibly get an infraction, a penalty, a fine, whatever it may be. But they won't do that. And guess what? Man card Raiders, the old Raiders, they would just let him wear like a fucked up helmet and be like, guess what? We just want our guy out.
Speaking of the Raiders, the anticipation for Hard Knocks is through the roof, but Big Cat warns everyone to lower their expectations. He’s convinced the team won’t actually let the real drama make the final cut.
Big CatThe next Hard Knocks episode will be a massive disappointment because the Raiders won't show the real drama
None of this is going to be on Hard Knocks. Because the Raiders aren't going to fucking let it on Hard Knocks. It's going to be the most disappointing Hard Knocks on Tuesday night. They will touch on it, sure, but we will not see Antonio Brown trying to sneak in with a bad helmet... and it will be so fucking disappointing.
The Scientist vs. The Blake
In the golf world, Brooks Koepka is leading a crusade against slow play, specifically targeting Bryson "The Scientist" DeChambeau. Golf and baseball are currently the only sports litigating how long it takes to actually play them, which Big Cat notes is a pretty clear indicator of their entertainment value.
Big CatThe fact that pace of play is only an issue in baseball and golf proves they are the most boring sports
The fact that pace of play is only baseball and golf, like the two most boring sports to watch, tells you a lot about what – like that right there, you should be like, you know what? Let's go speed golf. Because if we're talking about pace of play, it probably means people are taking naps during our games.
PFT was particularly annoyed with DeChambeau’s process over the weekend. Taking several minutes to calculate the wind and slope only to miss a short putt is the quickest way to lose the fans.
PFT CommenterYou shouldn't be allowed to take three and a half minutes for a putt and then miss it
I'm pretty sure that you're not allowed to take three and a half minutes to line up a putt from eight feet and then miss the putt. If you make the putt, I think people overlook it. But if you miss that putt, then we're going to have an issue.
Mount Rushmore of Sports Movie Characters
The guys debated the best fictional athletes and coaches to ever grace the screen. PFT went with Rudy and Bob Uecker from Major League, while Hank naturally leaned into his addiction to *Remember the Titans*. Big Cat rounded things out with the villainous Shooter McGavin and Henry Rowengartner. It was a deep field that left off heavy hitters like Rocky (who Hank snagged) and the Hanson Brothers.
Stone Cold Steve Austin
The Texas Rattlesnake himself joined the studio to talk about his new show *Straight Up Steve Austin*. He opened up about the difference between feeding off a live crowd and the solitude of podcasting, but the conversation quickly shifted to the glory days of the Attitude Era. Austin reflected on how the modern wrestling product feels different because it lacks the "anything can happen" vibe of the Monday Night Wars.
Stone Cold Steve AustinSpontaneity and the feeling that anything can happen at any time is lost in today's wrestling product
When you used to watch, you know, back in the Attitude Era... it was a sense of urgency. You felt like anything could happen at any one time. And to me, it's just maybe, I'm not picking on today's product, but I'm just saying the spontaneity is lost. Like that feeling that anything could happen is lost.
One of the most emotional moments for Big Cat was revisiting the WrestleMania 17 heel turn. It turns out, Austin has some regrets about that night in Houston too. He thinks about how much bigger the moment could have been if he had just called an audible on the spot.
Stone Cold Steve AustinIf I could go back to WrestleMania 17, I would have hit Vince McMahon with a stunner and maintained my babyface run
If I could call the Audible now, I would have just told him, hey, man, I ain't feeling it... if I could go back, I just said, hey, man, I'm calling an audible, watch the stunner. And then stunned [Vince's] ass and would have maintained my baby face run.
He also broke down the mechanics of his signature move. While it looked cool when he stunned Vince McMahon in every arena in America, doing it on the wrong surface had some serious physical consequences.
Stone Cold Steve AustinThe secret to the Stone Cold Stunner is doing it in a ring because the concrete has no give
The secret to the stunner is do it in a ring because you got a little bit of give. I hit my damn tailbone [on concrete] and every vertebrae in my back said, fuck you, don't ever do that again. So yeah, it works best inside a ring with a little bit of give.
Monday Reading and Segments
The show wrapped up with a Monday Reading from Sexual Jumanji that imagined a *Seinfeld* episode where George Costanza accidentally facilitates the Jeffrey Epstein suicide. Before that, the guys discussed Auburn's "new visual identity system" which is just a fancy way of saying they made a letter on their logo slightly smaller.
Big CatAuburn should have just called the new logo a logo change to sell more merchandise to SEC fans
What they should do is just lean into it and then get all new sales from the new logo. Because if I know something about SEC football, if you slightly tweak the logo, everyone will buy new stuff. They'll buy new stuff before they pay their mortgage, before they get food on the table for their kids. They've got to have the freshest new Auburn logo for the fall.
Finally, PFT and Big Cat put their skin in the game for the upcoming NFL season, promising some very specific ink if the right stars align in February.
PFT CommenterI will get an NFL 100 logo tattoo if the Browns and Lions meet in the Super Bowl
If it's Browns-Lions in the Super Bowl, I'll get the tattoo for sure. Yes.
Big CatI will get an NFL 100 logo tattoo if Blake Bortles wins Super Bowl MVP
If Blake Bortles wins Super Bowl MVP, I will also do that [get the tattoo].
Hopefully, the Raiders find AB a helmet before he decides to retire and become a professional hot air balloon pilot full-time.
