Football is inherently violent and trying to make it safe is a contradiction

And the fact that they've tried to change the rules means that they've conditioned us to think that football can be safe. And football is just not going to be safe. That's why it's an alpha males game.

Ben McAdoo changing his hair from the goofy cut to the slick-back style caused his demise with the Giants

I would have liked to see year three Ben McAdoo's hair because he went from the goofy haircut that we all made fun of to the slick back like Joe Cool, Ryan Grigson flip phone hair, which is partly why he had his demise, because he changed his hair.

I am giving up masturbation to get an edge for my upcoming fight

I've decided to give up masturbation. So for those who don't know, Hank is actually fighting. It's a real fight, Rough N Rowdy. December 15th. I need every edge I can get.

The Detroit Pistons are moving in the right direction despite their Game 7 loss

The progression of the Pistons along the way is like, what were they, two years ago? They won like 16 or 18 games. They were so bad. Last year they had competitive series against The Knicks. Then this year, the natural progression from that is, let's take the regular season super seriously. Let's win all the games that we can get a high seed... I would say the totality of this season, we're still going the right direction in Detroit.

I will renounce my American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup

I will renounce American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup this year... I'll probably need somebody to come and hang out with me and... the south of France is nice.

Patrick Reed is the first PAWG in the history of professional golf.

Patrick Reed, let me tell you, I think he might be the first PAWG golfer. He is. He's thick as hell. Like he was filling out. He also wears... the tight pants... he looks like early era Meghan Trainor... He bends over. He's like, ooh.