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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I could beat up Neil deGrasse Tyson

I hate Neil deGrasse Tyson. Hey, Neil, come on this podcast or fight me. One of the two. Fight me, you nerd. You won't. I think I could beat up Neil deGrasse Tyson.

The fight never occurred. Neil deGrasse Tyson was a former varsity wrestler at Harvard and is physically much larger than PFT.

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All Business PeteAll Business Pete

NFL security is on the hot seat for letting PFT Commenter sneak into Media Night

Hot seat is is NFL security. The I mean, the all of the bands, the pronouncements that NFL makes and and PFT just waltzes right right in.

PFT Commenter successfully snuck into Super Bowl Opening Night despite a ban, proving security failure in this specific instance.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Vegas will be taken by storm once Brent Musburger moves there

Hot seat, I have Las Vegas. Brent Musburger is opening up a handicapping company in Las Vegas. So if you think that he's going to move out to the desert and not take that place by storm, then you haven't been watching television for the past 50 years.

Brent Musburger moved to Las Vegas and successfully launched VSiN (Vegas Stats & Information Network), which became a staple of sports betting media as the industry legalized.
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Big CatBig Cat

Michael Vick's legacy is secure as one of the best quarterbacks ever

I'm just going to throw it out there. I think Michael Vick's legacy is secure. He's one of the best quarterbacks ever.

Vick's legacy remains a debate between his revolutionary play-style and his criminal history, but he is widely regarded as a transformational figure in NFL history.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.