Trevor Lawrence is overrated and played poorly in the National Championship game

Trevor Lawrence played like shit in the national championship game. Yeah. I had no idea. Overrated. 17 overthrows. There you go.

The Chicago Cubs should be retroactively awarded the 2017 World Series because of the Astros and Dodgers cheating scandals

The other thing they should do is retroactively give the Cubs a 2017 World Series. So back-to-back, no big deal. We lost to the Dodgers and the Dodgers lost to the Astros. Cheaters, cheaters, cheaters. Just do the right thing.

Sign stealing is the most American thing you can do

If we hadn't stolen signs in World War II, we'd all be speaking Japanese. Sign stealing is the most American thing someone can do.

The Detroit Pistons are moving in the right direction despite their Game 7 loss

The progression of the Pistons along the way is like, what were they, two years ago? They won like 16 or 18 games. They were so bad. Last year they had competitive series against The Knicks. Then this year, the natural progression from that is, let's take the regular season super seriously. Let's win all the games that we can get a high seed... I would say the totality of this season, we're still going the right direction in Detroit.

I will renounce my American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup

I will renounce American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup this year... I'll probably need somebody to come and hang out with me and... the south of France is nice.

Patrick Reed is the first PAWG in the history of professional golf.

Patrick Reed, let me tell you, I think he might be the first PAWG golfer. He is. He's thick as hell. Like he was filling out. He also wears... the tight pants... he looks like early era Meghan Trainor... He bends over. He's like, ooh.