The Celtics will smoke the Heat if they play in the Conference Finals

Everyone saying the Heat now... they could beat [the Bucks]. If we play the Heat in the Conference Finals, I think we would smoke them.

Tiger Woods in contention on a Sunday at the US Open is what America needs right now

What America needs right now more than anything is something like we need a miracle... What we need is Tiger Woods to be in contention on Sunday at the US Open because like you remember at the Masters, everybody get behind tiger on Sunday.

The Rockets-Lakers series will be a 'Frankenstein series' where Mike D'Antoni's Mickey Mouse basketball beats LeBron James

I really, really want to see the Rockets versus the Lakers because that is a Frankenstein series... Rockets are going to play no one over 6'6" and the Lakers are going to play everyone over 6'10"... D'Antoni's system is Mickey Mouse basketball, but it's still going to beat the Lakers.

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.