The Celtics will smoke the Heat if they play in the Conference Finals

Everyone saying the Heat now... they could beat [the Bucks]. If we play the Heat in the Conference Finals, I think we would smoke them.

Tiger Woods in contention on a Sunday at the US Open is what America needs right now

What America needs right now more than anything is something like we need a miracle... What we need is Tiger Woods to be in contention on Sunday at the US Open because like you remember at the Masters, everybody get behind tiger on Sunday.

The Rockets-Lakers series will be a 'Frankenstein series' where Mike D'Antoni's Mickey Mouse basketball beats LeBron James

I really, really want to see the Rockets versus the Lakers because that is a Frankenstein series... Rockets are going to play no one over 6'6" and the Lakers are going to play everyone over 6'10"... D'Antoni's system is Mickey Mouse basketball, but it's still going to beat the Lakers.

Getting excited for the NFL schedule release is for pussies

I can't get it up for the schedule release because it's—if you explained what the schedule release was to Vince Lombardi, he'd call you a pussy and spit in your face.

The NFL should release one game schedule per day for the entire off-season

The NFL, they should do, they should draw it out even longer. It should be one game that Roger Goodell releases per day for the entire off-season. And then at the end of it, he's like, okay, let's play some ball.

The Preakness Stakes should move its date to three weeks before the Kentucky Derby

Why doesn't the Preakness just say, screw it to the Kentucky Derby and schedule their main race for like three weeks before the Kentucky Derby? You wanna play hardball? Yeah, you could play hardball. I feel like if you, if your horse wins the Preakness, if it was scheduled for before the Derby, you're not skipping the derby. No, you gotta run in the derby.