Tom Brady will sign a one-day contract to retire as a New England Patriot

He is going to New England. He is signing a one-day Patriot contract. There is going to be a ceremony.

Tom Brady's retirement is a '3D chess' move to eventually return to the Patriots

Tom Brady unretires, comes back, plays for the Patriots, and that's why he's not thanking the Patriots yet... This is 3D chess. He's using this to go back to the Patriots because the Buccaneers, he doesn't think, can take him to another Super Bowl. But the Patriots could.

No starting quarterback will ever touch Tom Brady's record of seven Super Bowl wins

Seven Super Bowls will not — I'm going to safely — I really do not think that will be touched by a starting quarterback.

The Chiefs' window never closed

I don't think we ever actually closed the Chiefs' window. I think Mahomes was just in bed because he was injured, far away from the window.

Mahomes will be back to himself by season's end

By the end of this season, Mahomes is gonna be back to being Mahomes.

The Oregon loss could turn Dan Lanning into a psychopath

I don't think that Dan Lanning has slept since that loss. I think Dan Lanning has turned into an absolute psycho because of this loss. He's sick. It actually might be a dangerous thing for the rest of the Big Ten that Oregon lost that game.