It only counts as Opening Day if you can skip work and get drunk during the day

I only count it as opening day if you can skip work and get drunk during the day and watch baseball. Otherwise, like a Sunday night, I could do that any other week of the year.

Opening Day should always be on a Monday so everyone can skip work and get drunk together.

You have to have opening day be like a Monday. Everyone can skip work, get drunk. There's a lot of games together. Shout out to Johnny Bench. He was absolutely right. I hate what they've done [with Sunday night games].

Fireball is an acceptable ballpark drink until September 1st

I like to do airplane minis, like the mini bottles of Fireball... It's kind of like you don't wear white after Labor Day. You don't want to be drinking Fireball after like September 1st. After September 1st, you want to lose the flavored whiskey and get like some Jack Daniels or something because it's about a playoff push. So you got to focus. None of this sugary crap.

The 4-1 loss to Belgium was the worst USMNT performance in years

That was the worst performance from the US that I've seen in years. Just completely lackluster from the start. So much blame to go around. Tim Ream, friend of the program, good guy over the hill, turned into soccer Shawn Bradley before our very eyes got dunked on twice.

Christian Pulisic was a 'no-show' and looked like he didn't care against Belgium

Christian Pulisic, the long anointed Captain America future face of this league for American soccer. Absolute no show of a game, I would say worse than a no show of a game. And then he checks himself out. Just looks lackluster, looks like he doesn't care at all. Had the most turnovers on the field of anybody. That played just really, really, really bad.

The US will never close the skill gap compared to the rest of the world in soccer

People will never close the skill gap. USA will never close the skill gap compared to the rest of the world in soccer.