PMT DB
PMT DB
Brandon McCarthy on Clayton Kershaw’s Crew, Tommy John Babies, and JJ Watt's Brain
It is officially the best day of the year. Opening Day is here, and even though Major League Baseball tried to ruin it by putting games on a Sunday night, the energy is high. Big Cat and PFT Commenter are ready for a summer of day drinking and questionable gambling decisions, starting with a disagreement on what actually constitutes a holiday.
PFT CommenterIt only counts as Opening Day if you can skip work and get drunk during the day
I only count it as opening day if you can skip work and get drunk during the day and watch baseball. Otherwise, like a Sunday night, I could do that any other week of the year.
Big Cat is fully on board with the idea that the world should just stop for baseball. He’s looking at a summer of forty-plus Cubs games and a diet consisting entirely of stadium snacks that he’s convinced himself are part of a balanced lifestyle.
Big CatPeanuts are the most underrated ballpark snack and they are actually healthy because they are pure protein.
I'm also a big peanuts guy. I think peanuts are very underrated. I know that also when I eat peanuts, I tell myself they're not, like, unhealthy because, you know, nuts. It's protein. ... Whereas, like, I'll eat a whole bag of peanuts at the park, and I know there's probably 2000 calories and like 17 grams of sodium but that's okay in my head i think it's healthy.
While Big Cat is planning his Wrigley Field residency, PFT Commenter is focused on the logistics of getting hammered at the park, specifically the transition from summertime Fireball to the serious business of playoff whiskey.
PFT CommenterFireball is an acceptable ballpark drink until September 1st
I like to do airplane minis, like the mini bottles of Fireball... It's kind of like you don't wear white after Labor Day. You don't want to be drinking Fireball after like September 1st. After September 1st, you want to lose the flavored whiskey and get like some Jack Daniels or something because it's about a playoff push. So you got to focus. None of this sugary crap.
Brandon McCarthy
Dodgers pitcher Brandon McCarthy joined the show to give us a peek behind the curtain of life on the IL and what it’s like sharing a clubhouse with a guy like Clayton Kershaw. McCarthy, who is working his way back from Tommy John surgery, was refreshingly honest about the perks of being a professional rehabber.
Brandon McCarthyBeing on rehab is the easiest money in professional sports
I'm addicted to actually rehab. It's the easiest money in pro sports. You don't ever have to play, and they keep sending you checks on the drugs. It's better than drugs, actually.
We also got to the bottom of the "Bang Gang," which is apparently just Kershaw’s group of friends who all committed to the same middle-school haircut. The conversation took a turn toward the miraculous nature of pitcher hitting, specifically regarding McCarthy’s teammate Brett Anderson. According to Brandon, seeing Anderson actually successfully navigate a baseball field is a feat of nature.
Brandon McCarthyBrett Anderson getting a base hit is nearly as impressive as Doc Ellis throwing a no-hitter on LSD.
Brett getting a base hit is pretty miraculous because when you see him on a day-to-day basis in the clubhouse and you see his athleticism by that, I mean, his almost near inability to walk. You're like, how is he getting a hit at the major league level? ... I'll still say Doc Ellis is a perfect game, but it's a pretty good comparison between the two.
National Championship and Soft Rims
Moving over to the hardwood, the guys broke down the Final Four blowouts and prepared for the Villanova-UNC title game. Big Cat, a newly minted member of Nova Nation, is taking a significant amount of the credit for their deep run after a year of trolling them into greatness.
Big CatI deserve 75% credit for Villanova's NCAA tournament run
I would say I'm going to give myself like 75 percent credit for Nova's run. I don't know if you want to throw, like, 15 to Raleigh Massimino, another 10 to maybe Jay Wright's, like, suits, but 75% is about right for me.
There was also a lot of talk about the hardware in Houston. Watching Oklahoma get dismantled was tough, but watching the ball bounce around on those incredibly forgiving rims was even tougher for a basketball purist.
Big CatThe rims at the Final Four were so soft I could have shot 50% on them.
I could have shot like 50% on those rims. Those rims, there was a few shots that were laughably like they would, the ball would just kind of like bounce around and just stay on the rim and then go in. It would hit like five pieces of the rim and then just fall in.
PR 101: Living in JJ Watt's Head
The biggest news of the weekend wasn't on a field; it was on Twitter. JJ Watt finally cracked. After months of Big Cat calling him out for being the cringiest guy in the NFL, the Texans superstar sent a series of unsolicited tweets defending his box jumps and upper body pumps. Big Cat isn't just watching the highlights anymore; he's officially moved in.
Big CatI am officially walking around inside J.J. Watt's brain right now.
I'm, I'm, I'm walking around in J.J. Watt's brain right now. I'm drinking the beers, but that's in J.J. Watt's brain. [I] clogged his brain's toilet right now.
Big Cat noted that the sheer volume of tweets from JJ—and the "have a great day, buddy" sign-off—is the universal signal for a man who is completely rattled.
Big CatJ.J. Watt is rattled because he tweeted at me out of nowhere
Here's why I think and I know that J.J. Watt is rattled. This was a totally unsolicited tweet from him... He just tweets me out of nowhere and he says, I thought we were friends now, man... You don't tell someone to have a great day unless you're, like, rattled.
PFT Commenter offered some constructive criticism for JJ to help him shed the goody-two-shoes image. While Big Cat suggested a simple round of dizzy bat to show some humility, PFT went a slightly more aggressive route involving light arson or animal mistreatment to give him that "bad boy" edge the fans crave.
PFT CommenterJ.J. Watt should commit a small crime like animal abuse to fix his bad boy image
J.J. needs to kind of break out of this goody two shoes, like vibe that he's putting out... I think he just needs to go out and commit a small crime, like animal abuse, you know, a crime. Nobody really cares about something like that. Maybe start a small fire. That would kind of give him that little bit of a bad boy edge.
If JJ isn't willing to commit a crime, he can always just come on the show and face the music. Until then, we'll keep checking the color palettes with Darren Rovell and waiting for the next slow-mo workout video.
Go enjoy the day games and try not to think about how many calories are in that bag of peanuts.
