It only counts as Opening Day if you can skip work and get drunk during the day

I only count it as opening day if you can skip work and get drunk during the day and watch baseball. Otherwise, like a Sunday night, I could do that any other week of the year.

Opening Day should always be on a Monday so everyone can skip work and get drunk together.

You have to have opening day be like a Monday. Everyone can skip work, get drunk. There's a lot of games together. Shout out to Johnny Bench. He was absolutely right. I hate what they've done [with Sunday night games].

Fireball is an acceptable ballpark drink until September 1st

I like to do airplane minis, like the mini bottles of Fireball... It's kind of like you don't wear white after Labor Day. You don't want to be drinking Fireball after like September 1st. After September 1st, you want to lose the flavored whiskey and get like some Jack Daniels or something because it's about a playoff push. So you got to focus. None of this sugary crap.

LeBron James going to the Golden State Warriors would be a pathetic move

That's such bullshit by the way. Like if we got mad at Kevin Durant for going to Golden State, this would be pathetic. Pathetic.

The USMNT match against Bosnia and Herzegovina is an absolute must-win

It's a definitely a must win... we are, I believe for the first time ever in the history of US soccer were favored in a knockout round game... if we lose against Bosnia and Herzegovina, that is, it's, it's a disaster.

The USMNT will beat Bosnia and Herzegovina 3-0 or 3-1

I think we win. I think it might be like three to one, three to nothing.