To fix your public image after a DUI, enter treatment, disappear for 40 days, and return with an inspirational tweet.
That's step one, enter treatment. You kind of got to bite the bullet on this one and just say, it's on me, and then disappear for, I don't know, 40 days or something, and then come back with an inspirational tweet, and then you're pretty much good. Everybody will forget about it.
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View episodeIt only counts as Opening Day if you can skip work and get drunk during the day
I only count it as opening day if you can skip work and get drunk during the day and watch baseball. Otherwise, like a Sunday night, I could do that any other week of the year.
Opening Day should always be on a Monday so everyone can skip work and get drunk together.
You have to have opening day be like a Monday. Everyone can skip work, get drunk. There's a lot of games together. Shout out to Johnny Bench. He was absolutely right. I hate what they've done [with Sunday night games].
Fireball is an acceptable ballpark drink until September 1st
I like to do airplane minis, like the mini bottles of Fireball... It's kind of like you don't wear white after Labor Day. You don't want to be drinking Fireball after like September 1st. After September 1st, you want to lose the flavored whiskey and get like some Jack Daniels or something because it's about a playoff push. So you got to focus. None of this sugary crap.
More from PFT Commenter
View profileThe Ravens' fourth-quarter problems are moving earlier
Historically, the fourth-quarter Ravens have not been a great team. That fourth-quarter Ravens has started to creep its way into the third-quarter Ravens. And I think eventually it's going to keep creeping earlier and earlier in the game. I don't think it's going to get better because the defense does not look good.
Baker Mayfield has a real revenge game against Cleveland
This is like a big Baker revenge spot too. This is not a made-up Baker—I have a perceived slight against me because some team didn't trade for me when I was on the market. This is Baker Mayfield against Stefanski, and they haven't talked since he left Cleveland.
The NFL should reduce the season to 16 games
I'm going to say it. I think that 17 games is too much. I like the scarcity. I like if you brought it back to 16, because the NFL's also been playing this game for a long time where they have to find safer-looking ways to do a dangerous activity.