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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Jesus was an interim head coach who succeeded like Bill Belichick

Jesus got a start as an interim head coach and it was kind of a Monte Kiffin, Lane Kiffin type situation. God hired his son, let him operate as a coordinator for a while until he proved himself. You got to say it did work out for him in the long term, kind of like a Bill Belichick, Cleveland Browns, Patriots type deal. Ended up in a great position in the long run.

Satirical analogy comparing Jesus's tenure on earth to an NFL interim coaching stint, with God as the owner and Jesus as a nepotism hire who eventually proved himself.

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Oct 22, 2015·Monologue
#20472
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Pope should leave science to people who don't feel global warming

Lord, please tell the Pope that he needs to leave the science to all of us who don't feel the effects of global warming.

Satirical take on climate change deniers dismissing Pope Francis's climate encyclical Laudato Si (June 2015).
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Oct 22, 2015·Monologue
#20473
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Putting the Bill Simmons podcast on notice

I'm putting the Bill Simmons podcast on notice this week, baby. I'm coming for you, Bill. There's nothing you can do to stop me. It's a revolution.

PFT's solo Steam Room podcast never overtook Bill Simmons. However, six months later PFT co-created Pardon My Take which became one of the biggest sports podcasts ever.
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Oct 22, 2015·Monologue
#20474
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Dan Campbell might be the first interim head coach to win a Super Bowl

I personally think [Dan Campbell] might be the first interim head coach to win a Super Bowl.

Dan Campbell went 5-7 as interim coach in 2015 and did not reach or win the Super Bowl that season (the Broncos won).

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The Bills could have three or four Super Bowls without kickers

You can make the argument that the Buffalo Bills would have like three or four Super Bowls if kickers weren't a thing in football. You can make the argument that the Patriots might not have had the start of that dynasty if it wasn't for kickers.

The claim is a counterfactual and cannot be definitively verified.
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Jalen Hurts will answer the Titans by beating them as a passer

I actually think Jalen Hurts is good enough as a quarterback that when somebody dares him to do that, he could say, 'Fuck you, I will beat you as a quarterback.' And then stay in the pocket and throw for like 300 yards and three touchdowns.

Hurts' passing production against Tennessee will determine this prediction.
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The Jaguars would be the second-best team in football if they win in Denver

If they win this game in Denver, I would put them maybe second in the power rankings behind the Jets.

The Jaguars' win and their resulting standing in PFT's power rankings are the relevant conditions; the ranking itself is subjective.